Money Life

So, I haven’t updated in a very long time, and I guess it is about time for me to update about what is going on with my life and career and whatnot. A lot has been going on in the midst of this plateau I’ve been squatting in for this past year. Acting wise it feels like I haven’t been doing a whole lot. I did a play last Christmas with Onion Man Productions. Since then, I have just been doing improv at Whole World. Needless to say I have been feeling a little down about it. Life wise, I started making a little bit more money, not much, and we moved into a little cheaper of a place. Unfortunately I am still trying to pay all the fees that go along with moving into a new place, so I am still way behind on that. It gets really hard to not become defeated when you are always broke, and every time you think, yay, I’m catching up, ¬†there is still one more thing left to pay. Oh wait, no two more. One time someone said to me, “Brooke, you have to learn to be happy no matter how much money you have”. It was a server I was working with. One that still lived at home, I might add. I ¬†was so broke at the time, I didn’t even have money for food. He made me so mad in that moment. He didn’t really understand what I was going through. And honestly physically it is very hard to be happy with no food. I mean your brain chemistry needs certain things to make you happy.

I am getting off on a tangent, sorry about that. But maybe, he did have a point is what I am trying to say. Actually, I don’t know how I feel about that. I’ll think about it later. My point now that I wanted to make is that, I think I focus too much on money, and that makes me unhappy. Sure its hard to, when you can’t go somewhere because your broke. Or every time someone asks you to go eat, you get a little bit more embarrassed that you do not have the money.

But I am going to start thinking about other things instead of that. Instead of sitting at home staring at my wall, feeling angry that other people know how to make it all work, I’m just gonna get out there and figure out how I can make it work while knowing I have no idea what I’m doing. But something is better than nothing.